Ken Penders
Ken Penders is a fat, maniacal, junkie-ass nigga who makes play he's a writer. He once (unfortunately) worked on the Sonic Archie comics. He copied/halfassed/raped'' "''created" a lot of Sonic The Hedgehog characters for SEGA, but they are not owned by SEGA''' even though they are recolors of the original Sonic characters. (That's Penders' Logic for you!) He, not understanding that people don't take destroying their childhood lightly, thought that he should remove these characters from the Sonic universe, and place them in his own. If he had any logic to him (which he doesn't), he would have left it alone, left the company, and started his own venture outside of the universe he helped create. His fans, instead of being insulted, could have instead followed him to his new venture. It seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders, and could have come up with new content. Who knows, with total control, it may have even been fantastic. But fuck that, that'd take effort! Effort sucks! Instead he's not only bastardizing, but mutilating ''what we once loved, that simply nauseating and utterly repulsive l can barely keep from pukinh, because our hearts are now broken by the person we once thought was alright. Penders is represented in the Archie series as a random Tasmanian Devil called 'Thrash '(considering that's what he did to Archie and Sega). The only good decision he's made recently is shaving the mustache and growing out the hair, as he looks years younger, and ever more bulbous. Some of the more memorable comic book moments include: * An entire issue dedicated to knuckles's mother getting remarried * Dedicating a children's comic to an abusive relationship between two dragons * suing the company that put up with his years of bullshit. Appearance Ken Penders has the appearance of a late middle aged time-space anomaly. Prior to episode 56 he had a Stalin-esque moustache which gave him the appearance of the main antagonist of the previous comic book he worked on at archie (doctor eggman and no seriously think about it, he was large, had a moustache and glasses). After episode 56 he shaved the moustache and after episode 114 his hair line started receding. This combined makes him seem like a hopeless with the ladies late 50s (at least) man, (or woman depending on which portrait) stereotypical nerd who would lose only to a severe burnt victim in a contest for "who looks the most like a corpse?". Actually, you know what, for as much as I mock the guy, he was better with a beard #bringbackthebeard Other Info Ken Penders is the great and magnificent creator of the Lara-Su Chronicles. Ken Penders was once known as " Fuzzballs " after having the main directing role of scripting some of Palcomix's Sonic interpretation comics. If you know what that is, you can totally tell why his nickname was Fuzzballs. He also has a strange fetish for echidnas, or what we for now on shall call "echid'nyas". According to the mental institute, Ken has shown a great adoration for melodrama involving hedgehogs, mongooses and most notably, echidnas '''Cult ' Shortly after his incredible work, Penders started the aptly titled "cult of Penders". To join, one must undergo certain changes: * paint themselves red * wear a skimpy bikini or dominatrix costume if you are a woman. (this is due to Pender's own view on gender politics: only men get clothes) * Grow a Borat moustache (no gender restriction there, this applies to ALL) * Gather pictures of Ian Flynn, Sega, EA and Archie and add it to the fire * Engage in the sex-ritual in his basement Doing all this will grant you level 1 entry, however Level 2 is not as easy as you must... * Glue several Star Trek memorabilia onto animals * Feed him his medication every morning (just put it through the small hole above his cage) * assassinate Ian Flynn as he begs for mercy * watch 50 shades of grey repeatedly Level 3 access is the hardest, despite it only containing one task: Go out, accept that as much as you loved STH (i mean Redacted) its time to move on as it's gone, find a good looking girl, marry her, raise three children and live by a beach on hawaii happy you didn't waste your life being angry at a creepy old fetishist who took away your ability to see a few half-baked deviantart character's melodrama play out. Which is hard due to the fact that if you are too poor to live in hawaii you are fucked. (note: my point here is that as much as we liked some of those characters, its time to move on) 'Backstory ' Long ago on a far away planet the echidniya's and the mi'erdas waged a long and bloody war spanning hundreds of years. Corpses piled high, the stench of blood filled the air. Eventually, the king of the mi'erdas decided he'd had enough and decided that the only way to stop this bloodshed was to convince the miners of the planet weet to hand him the gold, so he can use it to whipe out the enemy race. However, the echidniya's had other plans, as they sent down nuclear bombs to whipe out the mi'erdas. Meanwhile, Ken Penders was born and raised somewhere in USA. Dear god, it must be an layer of hell there. '''List of original characters * Knuckles with robes * Knuckles with medieval armour * Knuckles with hat * Knuckles with doctor coat * Knuckles with glasses * Knuckles with different colour * Knuckles with eyebrows * Female Knuckles * Evil Knuckles Note that all above characters named are all fully original and made by our lord and saviour, anyone who disagrees shall be sentenced to death by Penders. Category:People Category:Writers Category:Artists Category:Crazy Motherfuckers